"She's not being honest with herself," a pal of the Burlesque actress tells PEOPLE. "She's saying she's this strong independent woman and she's fine, but what she's not stepping back to realize is that moving on after a divorce is not easy."
"She thinks she's gotten her life together and has already moved on," the source continues, "when maybe she still needs to process it some more."
As for Tuesday's public intoxication incident, in which Rutler was arrested for investigation of DUI and Aguilera was jailed for her own safety, "that was just silly and stupid," her pal says.
Still, some friends worry about Rutler's influence on Aguilera. "There's a real concern about this guy, and a lot of her friends feel she needs to get away from him," the pal says. "Hopefully, what happened [on Tuesday] is a real wake up call."
"She is going out more and drinking more," the friend continues. "She feels she is embracing her freedom and enjoying life … but now friends are hoping that she takes a step back and focuses on herself for a while."
Others close to Aguilera suggest the negative string of events is a matter of coincidence.
"There are people in her life who feel she's catching some bad breaks and are confident she'll come ahead strong," another source says. "A lot of her friends don't feel there's a huge problem to worry about."
Amidst all the chaos, the one positive that has remained consistent in Aguilera's life is loyalty from her ex.
"Jordan has been really wonderful through all this," the source says. "He's been really understanding. [He and Christina] are rebuilding their friendship."